1: Pirates of the Ring Wars: Curse of the Leverage
by The 4 Marauders
Summary: Episode 1 in a series of unfortunate fics. Nonsense, silliness and above all, randomness. In this edition: Jack Sparrow rescues an interesting character from another rapdily sinking ship. Also starring Padme Amidala and Gollum.


**Disclaimer:** We, the 4 Maruaders, do not own anything that makes sense or is owned by someone else. Each of our stories reference tons of movies, tv shows, books, sons, inside jokes, faaar too numerous to mention. Don't sue us, we do this for entertainment and we have no $$$ anyways. The only thing we own is the song, "Not gonna be your leverage".

**Additional 4 Marauders disclaimer: **(Added after this was originally put up): WARNING! This story is utter nonsense!

**A/n:** Hello! We are the Marauders4. Yes, our penname is the 4 Maruaders, but that's only b/c Maruaders4 was taken. Anyways,the person submitting this particular episode, is Padfoot. After me, the next oldest is Moony, then Evans, then Prongs, and then Wormtail. We are five cousins who love writing and randomness. Our stories is a result of those loves, and usually when we're very hyper. They are excessively random fics that with combined brain power and a rotating writing system, we came up with. Most things don't make sense and we know this stuff may end up only being amusing to ourselves, but that's alright.After each "section" there will be some initails depending on who wrote that section. So _(Pd)_ means Padfoot, _(Pr)_ is Prongs, _(E)_ is Evans, _(M) _is Moony, and _(W) _is Wormtail. A wary word to all: when Wormtail is included, she's only like 8 or something when she wrote in these, so FYI, lol. Anyways, leave us a review and try not to be too harsh.

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**Nonsense Story**

**Episode 1 – Pirate of the Ring Wars: Curse of the Leverage**

Captain Jack Sparrow stood up in the crow's nest of his rapidly sinking ship. He couldn't do anything about it, really. He'd given up bailing out the water long ago and had resigned himself to simply hoping that the boat would make it to the dock.

Thankfully, it did. He stepped off his ship right into the wooden dock in one smooth, easy step.

Immediately, and older man with white hair greeted him. "Hey you!" he stopped Jack. "It's a shilling to tie up your boat!"

Jack stared at the man quizzically. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

The old man raised a bushy white eyebrow and moved his long white staff from his left hand to his right. Before he spoke again, a voice cried out in seeming near agony from another rapidly sinking ship out in the harbor.

"GANDALF!" _(Pd)_

Legolas called.

"Gandalf! I need your help!"

Legolas was standing in a rapidly sinking ship of his own, and it was about three-quarters underwater. Suddenly without warning, it sank, Legolas with it, who was flailing about and calling panickedly, "Help! I can't swim!" With that, he plunged deep into the ocean.

Jack said, "Will you be saving him then?"

Gandalf replied, "I can't swim either!"

Jack stripped off his belt, sword, hat and gun, shoving such articles into Gandalf's hands. "Some sort of wizard you are. Do not lose these."

Then he executed a perfect dive and rescued poor Legolas Greenleaf. When Legolas was safely on the dock, Jack stood back and said, "My, he looks extremely similar to that bloody stupid Will. Exactly like him!"

At that moment, Will Turner came running up. "Did hear my name?" Then, upon laying eyes on Legolas, he exclaimed, "WHAT? Who is this person? He looks like my feminine side!" _(Pr)_

Legolas looked into Will's face and said, "You know, I really think I know him from somewhere."

"Have you threatened him before? 'Cause you know that's how I remember people's faces – 'cause I've threatened them before and – " Jack was absolutely cut off at that point.

"Jack, do you mind? I'm trying to figure this out!" Will shouted. "Sorry! I'm just so frustrated with this! It's like me with a blond wig, pointy ears and wearing a dress!"

Legolas ignored the insulting remarks to his appearance and looked at Will with patient eyes. He said in a sing-song smooth voice, "It's alright Will. We'll figure it out."

Jack looked from Will to Legolas, then to Gandalf and asked, "But why is the Rum gone?" _(E)_

"A red sun sets; blood has been spilt this night." Legolas suddenly recited.

"Well, that's very nice. 'A red sun sets; blood has been spilt this night' – " Jack mimicked angrily. "Well, it bloody is now!" Then he stormed off.

"Is it just me or did that not make any sense?" Legolas asked.

"What was that all about?" Will asked Gandalf, who shrugged.

While they were trying to figure out the Will – Legolas connection and why Jack had so suddenly stormed off, Jack came back and was abruptly startled when Gollum appeared beside him.

"My precioussss!" hissed he, and he leapt at Jack, grabbing for Jack's gold earring.

"AYE! What say you to… leverage?" Jack said and easily dodged Gollum's attack. _(M)_

Will, Legolas, Gandalf, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who had suddenly shown up in all his wonderful glory and good-looks, all broke out into loud obnoxious song: "NOT GONNA BE YOUR LEVERAGE! NOT GONNA BE YOUR LEVERAGE!"

Elisabeth Swann abruptly silenced them, having also appeared out of nowhere, accompanied by Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala.

Jack, who was now wrestling with Gollum for his own earring, hollered for some help. Nobody moved and then quicker than any of them could blink, Legolas was up from his sitting position of the dock and had shot Gollum with a well-aimed arrow.

They all turned to him in surprise.

He shrugged. "Sleeping arrow. He'll be good to go again in a few hours."

Padme raised an eyebrow and smiled mischievously. "You wanna go?"

"Pardon me?" Legolas asked politely.

"PARDON ME?" Anakin yelled.

"I mean, do you want to go. Like, for a ride? Away from the freak show?" Padme gestured first to the very odd crowd gathered on the dock and then to a huge shining Naboo cruiser in the background behind her.

Legolas smiled stunningly. "I see. I shall." He replaced his bow behind his back, walked over to Padme and took her arm.

"WHAT ABOUT ME!" Anakin screamed.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "_PLEASE._ You're turning to the dark side anyways. LIKE you're going to have time for her in between building death stars, half-worshipping that Palpatine guy, causing the near extinction of the Jedi, it'll get a little too busy to maintain a girlfriend. 'Specially after you pretty much kill her."

Anakin sulked and brooded.

Jack nodded with his hands under his chin in a prayer-like pose, waved his thanks to the retreating Elf, Legolas, took a graceful dive and swam to the Black Pearl which was just gliding into the harbor.

Gandalf had magically disappeared during Anakin's outburst and Obi-Wan's sarcastic explanation. Obi-Wan then left as well, hauling a whining and angst-riddled Anakin behind him, while Elisabeth and Will kissed lovingly as the red sun set on the horizon…

Gollum lay sleeping at the bottom of Davy Jones' locker and was in for a massive surprise when he eventually woke up. _(Pd)_

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**A/n: **Ooh, the randomness. Lol. Well, leave us a review. And yes, whether you liked it or not. And yes, there will be more from us soooon. So be prepared. Mwah ha. :D 

P.S. Another note: The song, "Not gonna be your leverage" was spawned from hyperness as we were watching Pirates of the Caribbean and making fun of _everything_ just b/c. Also, I'll add that ninety-nine percent of things we parody are things we dearly love (POTC, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and so on).


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